Still thankful

It is really amazing how faithful and how true to his word GOD is. Sometimes when you read the word, or a prophetic word is spoken over your life and don’t see the manifestation in real life, you kind of wonder whether you heard or read right, and whether you understood what was said.

Over the years, one of GOD’s words that I have read and have been spoken over my daughter’s and my life was this verse from Genesis 50:20

This is another testimony of GOD's grace and mercies in our lives over the years, and it has been happening over and over again. We have literally had the enemy come at us from all angles. They no longer hide or pretend. But guess what? In as much as they have been attacking, GOD has been fighting for us. He has been so hard at work on our behalf and I am so thankful that we belong to a father who loves us ever so much!

One of the scenarios that have finally played out is this. Sometime in early July, we noticed that a couple of days after we finally got rid of the squatter enemy that was in our home, we had rodents. Up to six months since our return, they were not there and all of a sudden they were there. We live on the first floor of a detached house and there was no way they could fly up there. In order for our Housing association to take action, we needed the co-operation of the downstairs neighbor, who refused.

So I called the local authority and they confirmed the problem and source. I took that information to the housing association. They then sent a company to block the entry points in the kitchen, but the worker sent did not do anything. The enemy was trying to get us to leave our GOD given home, but GOD stepped in. After waiting for weeks and nothing was done, I raised a formal complaint through their online system. At this point I was so infuriated, and never saw GOD’s hand in this, but there was this urgency one morning to make the complaint.

Well, to cut a very long story short, even though they usually take at least two weeks to respond, they got back to me within twenty four hours. At the same time, a surveyor was sent to assess the kitchen and what needs to be done. She promised to do something about it, fix the cupboards, change the kitchen, whatever it takes.

In less than two weeks, one week before Christmas, got a call from a company that they have been given the contract to give us a brand new kitchen! Two weeks ago, we now have a brand new kitchen from floor to ceiling, the contractors even gave us the first gift of a brand new black wall clock, as our kitchen is white and our theme is black and white!You see, our old kitchen was over twenty years old, holes in the cupboards and unit shelves and doors falling off, and at GOD's perfect timing, he restored the old for new! GOD is so good! He said I will make all things new and he did just that!

I am purposed to be Thankful every day of my life, because I know that no matter what comes at me, GOD has got my back and that’s all that matters.

Made new!!

I love GOD, I love my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, i love life. Watching the plants, birds and nature makes me smile. I look forward to the seasons changing, the fall colors, and the frosty winter mornings.i love my two children that GOD has Blessed me with. I love fine chocolate, my favorite being Godiva and Lindt. I love traveling and good food.

You would think that with all the loves of my life, I should be fulfilled and secure? Wrong, I get hurt very easily. I always seem to set myself up for a fall no matter what I do or where I go. Subconsciously, I have allowed others to use me and I find myself trying too hard to be accepted.  Every friendship/relationships that I have had over the years have ended in agony, sadness or disappointment. I am afraid to get to know people or even get close to anyone, because I fear that sooner or later it ends with me trying to pick up the pieces.

I am helpful and compassionate and will give the shirt of my back to anyone who needs it and I am well aware of the needs and issues of those around me, yet it seems I am stuck in the same revolving door. So I asked my daughter whether something is wrong with me that I am not aware of. She said I am fine and not to worry. Someone once told me that I am too in your face with people, that I cling to people too much and that I look too needy and that’s why people walk way from me.

So I took my questioning to the only one who can answer me truthfully. I was amazed at the stuff The Holy Spirit allowed me to access. It took me back to my childhood years, around the age of between 4-5 years, when I was living with my dad and his family (step mom, grandma, cousins, aunts and uncle). See, my mom was out of town working and studying. My mornings would usually start at about 5 am with doing chores and start prepping breakfast, get hot water ready for the household to have their baths etc. Imagine all that, 5 years old, doing all of that while all the others that were older than me slept. Well I was told time and time again that I was never wanted in the first place.

If I did not comply, I would get a few slaps and kicks, locked in the cellar and the endless nagging and calling me all kinds of names (my dad left my mom when I was 6 months old), so just imagine the names I was called. Once, my step mom threw a hot electric iron at me and I suffered third degree burns, the scars I still bear today, plus a few others. Because of all this, I went into self preservation mode. I worked like a horse, even before I was asked, in order to avoid the abuse and beatings. I now know that a lot of mean and insecure people take it out on others, in order to make themselves feel good about themselves.

I discovered then that if I give people stuff and what they want, or do stuff for them, they would like me and not hurt me, not realizing that it was superficial and temporary. That was the mindset that I carried till this very day. Over the years, I was taken for granted by even people who were close to me and I allowed it, too desperate to fit in, too scared to speak up or tell them how much their actions/attitudes hurt me, as I thought I would lose them if I did.

This well of frustration and pain has been churning and eating at me over the years and constantly tells me and reminds me of my past failures. Then on 2014’s New Year’s Eve, my Pastor brought a word saying that GOD wants me to let go of the past, forget about the hurt and pains and to live in the present with him, in order for me to be to be Blessed. How do you let go completely and forget a lifetime of physical and emotional hurt, pain and rejection? It is not so simple, but is doable. After trying my way for so long, i am now ready to let GOD do the healing his way, and I am also asking him to show me what I have to do, as I am so clueless.

Years ago, Bishop Elect Ronald King Sr spoke a prophetic word to me, telling me to live and not just exist. Little did he know that he was so right. I have just been going through the motion of existing every day. I now realize that changing starts with me. I can’t change others, but I can change me. I will, even if it is going to be one step at a time. I will learn to stand up for myself, not allow others to manipulate me anymore or put me down any more.

2015 is going to be the year that I will start to really live again, love again, learn to trust again, find pleasure in life again. So many people blame themselves for what happened to them over years, as I did. I now fully understand that myself and countless of others are not to blame for what we suffered through the years.

When GOD said “vengeance is mine, I will repay”, he meant it. The battle is not mine or ours, but GOD’s and he will take care of everything if we will just let him.

Yesterday the word that my Pastor brought was for me. Every conversation that I have had with GOD and every question that I have asked over the past week were answered in the word yesterday. He also said that it was time to pick up the pieces and continue.  That I am going to do. Ephesians 4:23 says “Be renewed in the spirit of your mind”. I am also happy that in renewing my mindset, I joined this Facebook blogging group, that share the same Christian values with me, it is a start, and I have been truly encouraged and blessed by some of the posts I have read over the past couple of days. I listen to uplifting and positive Christian music, my favorite station is KLove, which I listen to online, try to read The Word and pick empowering verses daily.

Every day I see the news about what goes on around the world and I am so Thankful that I belong to GOD and that he loves me and would never leave me nor forsake, and that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. To so many out there, who are going through so many tests and trials, so long as you have GOD, you have hope. Be encouraged and be Blessed!!

Thankful!!

 Happy New Year!! I just cannot believe that 2015 is here. This time last year, things were so different for my daughter and me. We were living in a different place and atmosphere, not knowing whether we were coming or going. It took great faith to get us where we are today. We had to fully trust and believe GOD for everything.

Initially this piece was going to be about going through the fire and the storm, but I will leave that for a later date. For now, I am thankful and I want to thank GOD for being with us during the fire and the storm.

Ten months on, since we returned to London, England, we still have not been able to find a home church. When you have been a member of a faith based church, one that is ideal and feed your every need, where the pastors are GOD’s anointed prophets, your standards and expectations are set for life. The Living Hope Christian Center was all that to us and our pastors Ronald King Sr and Angela King were the best! The word was awesome, prayers and teachings were on point. I really miss my church family, so as I could not be with them in person on New Year’s Eve, I joined them on live stream at 3am London time, as we are five hours ahead. I just could not miss it.

I joined them with pastor Ronald singing this song “fill me up, till I overflow. I wanna run over” immediately I started worshipping and the presence of GOD was so powerful in our living room. There was no distance in worship! Then Pastor Vorlea Chaney brought the word from Colossian 2:15 and Isaiah 54:1-17. 

As she was speaking, the spirit of GOD was so overwhelming and it took me through the last ten months, the battle that we went through and the victory he won for us!

Pastor Ronald spoke from Isaiah 43:18&19 and his words just answered and confirmed my prayers and questions that I have been asking over the past few days, and GOD’s response to the questions. He reminded me that it is really time to let go of the past and live in the present, in order for GOD to Bless us.

It is a mandate from GOD and I am choosing to obey him! I know it can be difficult, but I would rather be blessed in the present, than continue living in the past. There is so much unforgiveness in our world today; it can be seen all round us. So much bitterness and hate because of so many petty and trivial issues. I pray that all of us will just take all our concerns to GOD, let go and let GOD take control. I guarantee that we will live happier and peaceful lives.

Every day is a new year for GOD. He gives us the opportunity to start and do over everyday. I am purposed to do something good everyday from now on, a smile, a helping hand, whatever it takes. It might not be massive, might not even get noticed by anyone but GOD, but I am doing it!! By the way, I have also resolved to not complain, talk about or moan about insensitive or noisy neighbors from now on! It is just not worth it! 

I was also reminded by my Pastor about A’Driane’s word of the year theme, choosing a word to focus on during the year. My word for this year is Thankful!! I choose to be Thankful every second of my life, realizing that it is a gift and privilege from GOD!