Fresh start and new beginning is hard but possible!!

Starting all over is not as cut and dried as it sounds. Got all excited anticipating new beginnings. Everything is going to be perfect. A fresh start was all I needed and it’s going to be fine. The struggles of the last few years will disappear and everything will come up roses!

Well they haven’t. I did not see the battles which were waiting for me around the corner. The doors that GOD had shut and were not meant to be re-opened, keep popping up every where I turned. I forgot that I was a very private person and that the few people that were in my life were a hindrance and GOD had sent them packing. I forgot that for years, health issues were neglected, because first of all, I needed to work through ill health as the money was needed and we had no other resources available.

I returned to a home occupied with an evil squatter who refused to move, and I had to get the law involved, had to deal with issues in the home that were neglected in my absence, damp, mold, state taxes, rent arrears, and lest I forget, noise and loud music from neighbors, thought that was left in the past, you name it they were all there. Add on dealing with high blood pressure, severe back and joint pains, doctors and hospital appointments, waiting for appointments for physiotherapy and other issues.

How on earth did Abraham and the children of Israel deal with all they dealt with all those years when they were traveling for all those years, going through unfamiliar territories?

I keep thinking of all that needs to be done and my stress and anxiety levels are going through the roof. I struggled for years, living my life for others and totally neglected myself. I have to learn to start living for me.

I pray for strength and patience, as I really need it. GOD knows I need it!! I’m waiting on GOD’s promises, and I know Faith without works is dead, but I also know, that after you've done all you can, stand. So I stand because I know I have done all I could possibly do. I know that dawn is fast approaching and the sun will come through the dark clouds bringing my breakthrough!

Through all this though, I can see the silver lining in the clouds. I see my daughter re-emerging, pressing and pushing past and through the obstacles and mountains that are in her way. She is trying so hard!! Achieving what was impossible only a few months ago. So proud of her and I love and appreciate her so much.

Old issues, does not just disappear. New beginnings help you deal more effectively and efficiently with issues, because you have learnt from the past. I have learnt to trust GOD because he is GOD and not man and he means what he says. I trust JESUS CHRIST, because he loves me so much that he gave his life for me. What I am facing is nothing compares to what he faced. So I am just going to hold on to his hand and let him show me the way, because only he can help me find it!! So it's so fitting that i end this piece with this song by Sidewalk Prophets- Help me find it. This is my daily prayer.