Hope Can Change Everything

Over the years, a lot of people have asked my daughter and me why we were in America and also, if we were going through so much, why don’t we go back to London. A lot of people don’t understand the personal journeys of others, or the call on their lives and unless the Holy Spirit allows you to share your story, you just don’t, until it is the appointed time. For me, the time is now.

Every year to celebrate pastoral anniversary at our church the Living hope Christian Center (LHCC), our pastors Ronald king Sr and Angela king always love all the members to celebrate together with a banquet and fun activities. A few years ago, the members anonymously nominated others for awards based on biblical principles. I was awarded the faith award, for one who had demonstrated the most faith, narrowly beating my daughter. The irony at this time was that we had lost our apartment a couple of months ago and were living with a wonderful family from our church, who had taken us in, and we were in the process of finding our own place and moving on.

One saying that I hear all the time is “without faith, it is impossible to please GOD”, and also no matter what is going on, we have to trust GOD. Growing up, one of my favorite prayers was Psalm 125 and the opening line is “They that trust in the LORD shall be as mount Zion, which cannot be removed, but abideth for ever.”,

So I knew I had a level of faith and trust, the amount however was not enough to take me through what was happening. So I started having these conversations with GOD “I believe you can do it GOD. You will find a place for us1 I trust you GOD! We have come too far for you to leave us! Your word said that you will never leave us nor forsake us!” it seems like due to fear and desperation, I was rambling, but at that point, believe I was just exercising the little faith I had.

Over the years, even when I could not see it, or understand it, GOD has been faithful. I have learnt that people come into your life for specific reasons, seasons or purposes and when that period ends, it is to let go gracefully. The season with the family that took us in initially ended and we had to move on. Whilst living with them, we sought help for employment, housing and other issues with various agencies such as the Catholic charities and the Hispanic family center in Camden New Jersey. Having no financial resources, we sometimes walked for over twenty city blocks or more to and from where we needed to go. The staff at the Hispanic center helped with computer access, jobsearches, resumes building, short courses and even got us groceries. Even we could not find a place at the time we had to move, with us having only forty dollars; they collected money so that we could spend a couple of days in a motel instead of being out in the streets. We saw God’s love from one of the most unlikely places. We were really touched by their kindness. In total, we spent four days at the Riviera motel, trusting GOD for food, which he provided, until some money that I was expecting from London came. We used that money to rent a room in a house in Camden. In retrospect, that was one of the worst things I could have done. There were drugs being sold and used openly, we saw guns being exchanged and every illegal thing that you could imagine was happening. We had to get up sometimes as early as 4am to shower and prepare food and then stay locked up for the rest of the day, except for when we either went to church on Wednesdays and Sundays, or to go to the Hispanic center once a week.

GOD in his mercy protected us and provided for us. He showed us how to get what we needed and what resources were available. Because we did not want to be a burden on anyone, we also researched food banks, food pantries and other organizations that donated food. Every couple of weeks, we would walk seventeen blocks to a food pantry in Pennsauken and walk back, and even then, the people that lived in the house with us, will still take all of our food. Once, we only had a bag of soggy apples to eat for a couple of weeks J (it took me weeks to eat another apple LOL!) our room was so cold, as we had no heating, that a bottle of water that I placed by the window actually froze!

Yet during all this, we felt an indescribable peace. It was around 3am one morning, that I felt a tap on my shoulder and heard a gentle voice in my ear saying “Be still and know that I am GOD, I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted among the earth! Only I will be glorified” the voice sounded like my pastor, but it was 3am and even my daughter was sound asleep. I jumped up so fast, grabbed my Bible and started reading!

At this time, there was a raging battle going on in my mind. I felt like a failure, defeated. I have let my daughter down, failed her. She was meant to be in college, spending time with friends, having fun, instead here she was hurting, not knowing what was going on. After praying one morning, I heard in my spirit “call upon me and I will answer you”.  I did just that, and have been doing ever since! I did not know what was going on, but GOD did and he had the answer and solution, and for the first time I felt like even though we were traveling along this dark lonely road, we were not alone and I could see a glimmer of light ahead, and we kept on going to church where we were strengthened and fed spiritually.

Years ago, Pastor Ronald King Sr said that when you get to the very bottom, all you can do is look up and he even made me smile last Sunday when he reminded me of the life alert commercial when he said that we are not like the lady who said “I have fallen and I cant get up” J J yes you can get up he said! So true! At this point I was at the bottom and it was while looking up, that I held on to JESUS, knowing that he will not let go and that I need to put the past behind, let it all go and hold on to him. At this point, I had two choices and I chose GOD!

So my answer to everyone who asked me, as I mentioned earlier why we stayed in America enduring all we did, it is simple. GOD brought us there and until I found out why he did and he tells me our next move, I stayed put! And we did that for seven years. I am not a quitter. Sometimes we want a quick answer being the microwave generation, but like minister Tamika Tirado at LHCC once said, “ GOD operates like a crock pot, slow but sure!”

To you out there going through whatever difficult or painful journey, facing life changing decisions, I say to you, hold on! Have faith! And Trust GOD! He will work it out, he did it for me and my daughter, it was not easy but he never once let go of us, you will see as this story continues. Hope is here, and Hope can change everything!!!

The Journey Starts

The eight of August marked the six month anniversary of my daughter and my return back to London after spending over seven years in the United States of America. Never thought we would come back, except to visit, as we wanted a better opportunity for both of us and also we wanted to be able to live the classic American dream.

Before leaving, I was a catholic, that believed and knew GOD, because of what I was told growing up, and of what I read in the bible. Now I can say without hesitating that I am a Christian, who has  a deep knowledge of GOD and that I have a very intimate relationship with GOD. This did not happen overnight or by chance. Instead of my move to the USA being peachy, it turned into a nightmare literally from the very beginning. Well laid plans fell apart, friends and family scammed us and turn their backs on us. Before moving, I had prayed about the move, made what I thought were solid plans with regards to school for my daughter and myself, secured jobs, where we were going to live, up to more than enough money to sustain us for over a year etc.

Well, I had my plans, but GOD had his and even though this might have been the work of the enemy, GOD turned it around. It was during these terrible years, in the midst of some of the most horrible scenarios, that I got to know GOD for who he was, a provider, healer, comforter, father, friend and all his many attributes. During our stay in the USA, we had  to move ten times in a space of two years, we even spent a night in an abandoned house and unknowingly rented a room in a drug house, after being kicked out of where we were staying in North Carolina for no apparent reason or excuse, ending up in New Jersey, staying with contacts we had known over the past years. Believe you me, I tried to return to London several times, but for some unknown reason, GOD would not allow it! With no one to turn to, money from my accounts stolen, and the scenario of Will Smith’s character in Pursuit of Happiness looming, GOD sent help from the most unlikely sources.

We learnt to trust GOD, believed him and grew to love him and not blame him for all that was happening. We found an awesome church in Pennsauken- The Living Hope Christian Center, if you ever are in New Jersey, you have to visit it, you will be blessed! In Living hope, we learnt amongst other things about faith and Praise and worship. My faith grew as it was constantly being fed by God’s word and positivity. I started learning how to trust people again, an discovered that not everyone’s pain and struggle was the same as mine and that even though things might look great on the outside, it’s not always that clear cut internally. Most importantly, I learnt not to put my hopes on man, but on GOD, because even though it is man that might do you a favor, it is GOD that directs man to bless you.

Looking back now, I don’t even know how GOD did it, and even though we were sustained, protected for about seven years, we were only able to form real relationships with only a few people. Somehow there was a deep seated longing for more. We knew we were made for so much more than what we had. We were not thriving as we should. Was it purpose? Was it GOD trying to tell us something? Once again the scenario that happened seven years ago crept up again, but this time instead of being frightened people, we turned to the one person who had all the answers. Our father the one and only GOD. He spoke to both my daughter and me that it was time for us to return to London???? His plan and purpose were for us to be in London. How???? We had sacrificed so much. What about our plans, our dreams, our hopes?? Well at this point we were jobless, penniless, about to be evicted as we could not pay our rent, so how could we afford the air fares, where were we going to live in London as all ties over in London had been severed, with the exception of my son, because of several reasons. Yet in just over three months, GOD in his faithfulness, grace and mercy, provided the rent to keep us where we  were about to be evicted, provided the airfares and everything we needed to get to London! The icing on the cake is that we returned to the home we left over seven years ago, the home we thought we had lost! It was literally how we left it. Of course there were issues that we had to deal with, but GOD was in control. Through these troubled years, there were two Bible verses that were always in my spirit. The entire Psalm 46 and Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”.

When we left, my faith was probably smaller than a mustard seed, more like a grain of sand, but now, it has been fed by my journey and experience and it’s about the size of the mustard tree itself!! (Smile)